Thursday, May 2, 2013

Ask Auntie Fi: Superpowers??

I’m sad to report that my inbox for 'Auntie Fi' questions is empty. There are no new questions there. Nada. However all is not lost, while this drought is occurring I get to stand on my soapbox. Watch out world...once I get started, there is no stopping me.....

Seems to me that we’re all sitting on individual ‘goldmines’. While it would be rather lovely if we all struck oil underneath our humble abodes for reals, or found a deep and glittering vein of real gold in our backyards, what I reckon we have is actually better than all of that.

I’m pretty sure that both you and I are perching on top of our own secret stash of superpowers. Now I’m the first to acknowledge that I am no Superwoman. Nope. I learnt a long time ago that she just doesn’t exist, so if you’re trying to be her, STOP. NOW. But that’s another blog post for another day. No, while we may not be superwomen, we ALL do have superpowers, and the capacity of what could be achieved if we all tapped into these superpowers is huge. Limitless.

We have at our disposal the power of shared experience.

Parenting can be such a lonely journey. A hard journey. A thankless journey. However when we go through hard times and when we have someone come alongside us, affirming us in the choices we’re making, and speaking from their own experiences - good and bad, successful or not, it can make such a positive difference.

Shared experience. It means knowing you’re not alone, knowing you’re not a freak of nature, knowing you’re not a failure.

Shared experience. It means knowing your mistakes and victories can add value to others.

Shared experience. It doesn’t mean being a blabbermouth and feeling like we have to comment on absolutely everyone’s facebook status. It doesn’t mean having and sharing an opinion on everything that passes in front of your computer screen. Or to everything said in your Moms’ group. Know-it-alls don’t carry a lot of clout.

Shared experience. It does mean using a little tact, using a little privacy and ‘being there’, really being there for people. Sincere encouragement. Being intentional with your circle of influence, the people around you.

I’m a firm believer that ‘nothing is for nought’. Our going through ‘stuff’ can often be the one and only key in relating to others. What better person to come alongside a new Mom, who is sleep-deprived and fighting the baby blues, than someone who has been there, done that and can still remember exactly how it made that Mom feel, how it tainted the way she sees things. In my own life from my experience with miscarriages and struggles with infertility, I know the very real and raw emotions that someone else facing these issues is feeling.

We all have these shared experiences that we’re just sitting on...and sometimes we reach out to others, and sometimes we don’t. We fear what others think. We fear coming across as nosey or interfering. So we hold back. We keep these gifts of encouragement to ourselves.

And the thing about all of this, is it isn’t just a good idea. Not just a nice thing to do. Nah, someone a lot wiser and a lot more thoughtful than me created this whole notion.....

Our brothers conquered him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they did not cling to their lives even in the face of death. - Revelation 12: 11
The word of your testimony is something that cannot be taken from you. There is such power in the truth of where you’ve come from, of what you’ve been rescued from, lessons you’ve learnt along life’s paths. And these words of your testimonies, and of mine, they are for sharing. They are for others, and they are God honouring.

These ‘goldmines’ we’re sitting on........ the gold is safe while we’re not doing anything with it. No-one knows about the depth of our ‘loot’ and the value of it, while it is still covered up, while we’re not moving the earth around it. But us women, we like our bling, we like our ‘pretties’......'bring on the gold and the gemstones' is really our heart’s cry....By digging into our reserves of ‘gold’, our shared experiences, we’re dressing our friends in fine jewels, we’re adding value to their lives.

While the safe option is always to be quiet, to keep our thoughts to ourselves, to keep the gold well hidden, the braver option and the option that is the most helpful to all, is to share our experiences, in truth and in love, with much tact and sincerity. That’s a superpower we have as women, and as friends. Shared experiences. The word of our testimony.

(Please feel free to email in your questions for future 'Ask Auntie Fi' posts to:

I am a legal alien in this amazing country (USA). I desire to be the best wife, mother and friend I can be. I love life and I want above all else, to be used by God. I write to encourage you – to be honest with you – to prove that we are not to ‘do this life’ alone. We have much to learn from each other.

You can read more about Fiona and her journey into the light on her blog: A Little Bit Of Honesty.
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