Picture by FotoTree Photography...

Ahhh sweet, unadulterated, unsolicited advice… it’s like veggies and aftershave, too much can gag you. You’d be surprised (or maybe you wouldn’t) how much unsolicited advice/comments/veiled criticism one gets when she announces on facebook that oops she’s pregnant with number 4. [Don't get your panties in a wad... I have had 2 miscarriages since I wrote this.. but that's for another post... soon to be written... carry on!]

You know those days when being able to get yourself ready seems to fall to the bottom of the list in the morning? Of course you do.... you're a Mom and it comes with the territory! I LOVE wearing fun outfits and having aiming for perfect hair days just as much as the next, but let's be real, it's not going to happen just for a trip to the grocery store or picking up my kids from school.



I'm lucky enough to have that half straight, half wavy thing going on, and let's just say "air-drying" isn't pretty! My typical protocol would be to grab a hat... the less you see the better theory. I'm putting my hats away and going with something new, the "bun"! Whether it's a messy bun or straight back, it's easy and better yet, it works with wet or dry hair! {Hint: If you're not sure how to create your ideal bun?... "Utube" has a million web-tutorials for every style!}




1. Keep it natural... My 2 in 1 tinted moisturizer supplies me with the daily moisture my face needs and gives me just enough natural glow to cover up any un-wanted flaws! If you already have a favorite moisturizer, just mix a small dab of sun-less tanner with it! The outcome is nothing short of a miracle!

2.Mascara ... Thick & full lashes will give your eyes just enough pop! Don't stress over the other details!

3.Lip Gloss... A soft color with a hint of sparkle is perfect to pull off a polished look!

We must mention that these adorable "go to" earrings are from  Jamie's  Bohemian Jones collection!!

Jamie's husband and three kids are the most amazing influences in her life - they are her rock, and make her laugh everyday!
Creating! This one word shapes up a life that has been shaped by designing, drawing and crafting.  Her daydreams about designing turned into reality when she couldn't find what she was looking for in stores and started making jewelry. Her dream came true when she took a leap of faith and started designing full time. It was the best thing she has ever done for herself.

~What would their answer be? They are only 3 and 6 so I'm sure it would be simple (although I'd be nervous about the answer!)...what about when they are 15 and 18, what will their answer be then?

~What about my husband? If you asked him what I am REALLY like, what would his answer be??? (thats some dangerous ground there!)

~What about a super duper close friend??

~What about my sister, or my dad (he thinks I'm perfect so thats not really fair!) what about an acquaintence at church, or the girl at the coffee shop?So to prove my husband wrong...I am not going to be wordy today! I am going to be straight up..because that is who I am!

I want to be the same to my family, to my friends and to the girl that I get my coffee from. I am no longer saving my best for strangers. I am no longer smiling when I have to, but because I want to...I asked myself this a while back...All I ever asked for was a family...I cried many times during the process of figuring out that we can't have biological children (although they never "figured it out") And now that God has blessed me beyond anything I deserve, I am treating them like the gift that they are??? We all choose our family at some point...We choose our husbands, we choose our kids (or chose to "make" or adopt them)...so if this is what I always wanted, don't they deserve my best????

Coffee is the reason I get out of bed in the morning... I'm not kidding... it's the only reason my kids aren't turned into road kill when they come wake my up and ask for cartoons at 4:45 a.m. .  I'm not a morning person, I never have been, I like to stay up late and enjoy the quiet of the house with no one asking me where the toy is they had 2 seconds ago or to wipe their butts.... it's my time and I refuse to give it up. Reality sets in every morning though when I am grappling for even an extra 30 seconds of sleep. [I seriously tell my kids if it's 4:59 (after they've been bouncing on my head and poking me in the eyes for 15 minutes)... "mommy will get up when the clock says 5:00"] [Editor's Note: In the interest of full disclosure I did get to sleep until 7 this morning... angels are singing] Anywho... for me I have decided those extra hours of quiet alone time are worth more than extra hours of sleep.

For anyone like me that has to have that jolt of caffeine in the morning to actually seem human, here is a {COFFEE CUP DECODER} for you to share with your family... it might just save their lives!

Dear Kids,

Here is a chart to help you stay safe in the morning... read it, memorize it ... and you might just survive your childhood!

Zombie Mommy... GIVE ME COFFEEEEEEEEEE

RED ZONE: If the coffee is anywhere near this level save any words or even eye contact for that matter, don't make any sudden movements or ask me for anything or I may be forced to eat you alive....

ORANGE ZONE: While safer than the Zombie Zone at this point in my morning coffee it's still not safe to converse with me... if the barrier is breached I could drop phrases like: Back off or I'll cut you ... OR... I'll pop a cap in your.... well you get the idea.

GREEN ZONE: Almost halfway through my first cup you are safe to approach with no fear of bodily harm... by this point I'm more in a foggy haze... this is the perfect opportunity to swear, pick your nose, fart, burp or wail on your brother because for just a brief few minutes mommy's lights are on but nobody is home...

PURPLE ZONE: This zone is much like it's cousin the {GREEN ZONE} but I'm really just pretending not to hear you say you just pooped your pants or dumped your entire glass of almond milk out on the carpet... sometimes I wonder if I pretend long enough if you'll just clean up your own messes... ahahahahahahahahaha

TURQUOISE ZONE: Ahhh you can all breathe a sigh of relief, you have all made it 15 minutes without being eaten, shanked or otherwise harmed by being left to your own devices. This is where regular mommy only slightly crazy mommy starts her day... I'm ready for kisses and hugs, meltdowns and owies, poopy pants and being asked to do 17 things at one time... bring it on... oh, and be a good little boy and bring mommy her second cup:):)

Hugs and Kisses!
Mommy

New To The EMM Blog?
Just in case you're new around here I thought I'd introduce myself.... I'm the scattered crazy Earth Monkey Mom Lindsay:) And this is my family. My kids never have clean faces, my house is usually a mess and I always have 3-15 loads of unfolded laundry sitting on my couch. My family just received an Extreme Home Makeover and it's crazier than ever here! I post on Fridays and we're glad you're here and we hope you'll stick around... More than anything we want you to know that none of us have it all together... and wether your kids are 40 or 4 you're not alone in your journey through motherhood!

Written by Amy Winans... co-founder of Impact Athletics.

We felt as if we had been punched in the gut, last February when we were informed the chapter of the sports ministry we worked for would be shutting down. Not only did this take a great toll on us financially, losing our only source of income to our family, but it also seemed our heart to minister to athletes and coaches had been ripped out. We struggled for many months with what the next step was in our lives. We began to pray, pray, pray like we never had before. Although the answers were not clear right away as to where He was leading our family next, we knew, without a doubt we were in His hands. We knew it was He, and only He who had ended our ministry.

I am a runner...not like a "take a little jog on the weekend" kind of runner, but a real runner.  I can run for hours at a time...I can run marathons that push me to my limits, sprints that make me want to scream "mama" and miles upon miles of hills that make me wonder what the heck I am doing!  I have run for weeks straight, months without stopping, and years without even slowing down.  I even look good when I run!  I can keep my eyes bright and a smile on my face.  Sometimes I get close to being worn down and I might even consider stopping, but for a million reasons, I press on.  In fact, I am such a good runner that I have been running for a solid year now, and I bet most of you haven't even noticed how winded I was! 
Ok, wait a minute here..you think I'm talking about actual running hu?  I am sorry, I was talking about running from something!  Like the kind of running that I do when I am trying to get away from something in my inner life! You know, like when God is calling me to pray, to change a habit, to say "yes" to something...that kind of running!

For a long time now, God has been nudging me to spend time with Him, beyond just the little bits and pieces that I do throughout my days.  He has been asking me to spend my mornings with Him.  
 And this is where my running has finally come to an end...I finally gave Him what he wanted. He showed me that if Jesus needed time "while it was still dark...to go to be alone with His Father to get ready for the people that were waiting for Him" {Mark 1:35} then I needed to do that exact same thing.  I can't wait to tell you someday what this small "sacrifice" has done in my life. It has changed my attitude, my kids, my husband (because I'm slightly less easy to loath), it has given my home peace and made me rested and joy filled in ways that I have never known!!   (not that it's perfect...I'm way too human for that!)


What do you know you should be doing but it seams impossible to do and you have a million reasons why you can't do it?  Maybe you need to say Yes...maybe you need to say No, maybe it's committing to a life change...but the point is, we need to stop running.  True transformation can't come until we give up our stubborn willfulness  and walk in obedience.I'm done running....and my life will never be the same.  What about you???  

Apparently, it would be a better description to call myself a "crack dealer"...an name lovingly given to me by Linz because, well, if you pin, you know it's like crack and I just cant help pushing people to this addiction telling people about this fun past time!! I recently started a couple of new favorite boards, one titled "Organized life" and the other Minimal life"...because of course some of these ideas are better qualified to be there because "great ideas" and "home sweet home" are just not specific enough!  You will find out what I mean if you go check it out...something easy to do because my boards are in alphabetical order.  Everyone does that right???  And everyone has their labels on their canned goods facing in the same direction, and in categories...right???  Everyone has their clothing color coordinated hanging in their closets (on matching hangers I might add)...right???  
I made this little quiz so I could figure it out once and for all!  If you wonder about yourself too (or just want to play along with my stupid game) 
  
Here is how it works....Give yourself one point for each statement that applies to you (even if it's only sort of).  If it doesn't apply, don't give yourself a point.  

~if your christmas cards were in the mail Dec 1st. or earlier
~if your closet is arranged by color, and an extra point if they are arranged by "season"
~if your canned goods labels are all facing forward
~if you have actually DONE more than 3 things that you learned on pinterest on getting organized...extra point ~if you have an "organized" pinterest board
~if you cant go to sleep until the pillows on your couch are in place
~if you fold your fitted sheets the "Martha Stewart" way
~if your kids car seats are clean...(hahahahahah) you get 5 "ananlina" points if this applies to you!
~if you tell your kids more than 5 times a day "put that where it belongs..." oh wait, that just means you are a mother!  No points for that one!
~if you can find a tampon, bandaid and paperclip in your purse within 5 seconds
~if you only pretend to play with your kids...but you really just want to be done so you can put all their toys away in neatly labeled bins
~if you have a day dedicated to "cleaning the bathrooms"..kitchens, etc...
~if you know exactly how much money is in your bank account at any given second
~if your husband and/or your best friend have not seen you without makeup since...well, ever.
~if you homeschool your kid(s) (maybe that one just means your a little crazy) Linz ;)
~if you have anything in your home that looks like one of the picts below...give yourself a point for EACH ONE...


~if you have a designated "grocery shopping day" 
~if someone came to your house right now, would you say "sorry about the mess!"  if so, give yourself one point (if your not even a little anal, you don't care about the mess so you wouldn't apologize)
~If you have any kind of ongoing "list"...one point for each paper or "E" list
~Give yourself one point for each night this week that you already know what you are making for dinner
~if you keep your coupons in a special "folder"
~and finally...if you over worried about answering each question correctly, give yourself 5 bonus points!


0-5 messy marvin: embrace your freedom from the snares of "organizational anxiety" and go sit and enjoy a soap!
5-10 congrats...you are a perfect balance...wait, if you are "perfect" does that make you anal?...maybe you are just balanced, but then are you a floater??? Maybe then your just mediocre??  Oh geez, I don't know! 
10-20 analina: order your "ananlina's unite" t-shirt now, because sister...you are officially one!  Now get off of the computer and go clean that clean toilet!
20+...there is no word to describe you, but will you come live at my house for a week and whip it into shape????


Make sure to "comment" below and let us know how you scored!  If you have troubles commenting here, go to our FB wall and let us know on the post there ;)

Have you ever done something you're afraid of doing? I mean even if it's seemingly small and kinda stupid... like ohh I don't know... a hand stand??? Tuesday morning I was up cleaning up our workout area and whilst on the yoga deck I seriously thought about doing a handstand because lord knows I wasn't actually working out... I had just watched Chris Powell's crazy deadlift/handstand work out and I really really really wanted to try to do one... but I was seriously terrified, and my kids were with me and honestly I didn't want to look like a dork in front of them (well,  a bigger dork than usual). So I didn't even try. That night I had coffee with a friend... a certain someone who visited the EMM blog last week... and she out of the blue brought up handstand push ups... so of course I took it as a sign from God that I needed to try one (I don't know why Gena thinks I over spiritualize everything:):)... Lu walked me through it and although it was balancing up against a wall... I did it! I know this sounds totally ridiculous but it was amazing to conquer something I was terrified to do and wouldn't even try 8 hours earlier. I was giddy... like annoyingly giddy and couldn't wait to show my husband... and Prepare yourself for corny  after that I honestly felt like I could take on the world. (insert Rocky theme music here)

It's funny how one little seemingly insignificant thing boosted my confidence and gave me a different opinion of myself. Putting my feet over my head made me feel strong and capable, even with my gut hanging out and flapping in the wind. But the next day was a bit of a rough one... I really think PMS had just taken my body hostage and I was in a bad bad place. That night as I was pinning things I wanted to do someday I saw Lu had made a comment on a pin of a woman doing some crazy arse peacocky yoga move I had pinned... she told me that she wanted to see me doing that pose when she came back to visit. The cool thing is because of doing that piddly handstand the day before, I actually believe now that I can  totally do it. I got up off of the couch, set down my second glass of "pity party" wine and googled how to do a handstand on my elbows  because I thought that was a good place to start... AND...  dah dah dah I totally did it... it wasn't pretty and I may have said an expletive or two in the process but I totally did it.

Now as I look at  crazy peacock lady, I know that someday it will be me. My New Year's resolution isn't to lose weight (wait can I say that outloud?? Is that un-american of me??) it's not even to get my crap together (sorry Gena and C.J:):)... it's to try new things that seem hard that I either don't want to do or feel like I can't do. I want to start with the peacocky yoga thing and then I want to move on to even scarier stuff like speaking to women's groups (excuse me I just threw up in my mouth a little out of sheer terror) and being bold and writing more and going for all of the things those little voices in my head tell me I'm not good enough, strong enough, or worthy enough to do!

What is something seemingly small that you have always kinda wanted to do but not had the guts to try? A handstand? a 5k? a cartwheel? writing? leading? singing? dancing? speaking? or even doing the splits (more power to ya Kelli:):) ???

Don't make me go to the scary place alone girls... Jamie just told us this is a new year and a new day... Gena challenged us to shed all of the stuff that keeps us bound and complicated and 1 week ago Lu inspired us all to decide who we really want to be ... I may not know exactly who I want to be right now... but I know that I no longer want my fears to define me... 


New To The EMM Blog?

Just in case you're new around here I thought I'd introduce myself.... I'm the scattered crazy Earth Monkey Mom Lindsay:) And this is my family. My kids never have clean faces, my house is usually a mess and I always have 3-15 loads of unfolded laundry sitting on my couch. My family just received an Extreme Home Makeover and it's crazier than ever here! I post on Fridays and we're glad you're here and we hope you'll stick around... More than anything we want you to know that none of us have it all together... and wether your kids are 40 or 4 you're not alone in your journey through motherhood!

I love a new year-especially if thelast one was terrible. I get so happy and excited to put it behind me. I felt that way last New Year and felt like kicking the shins of people who talked about perky resolutions when I was just aiming at retaining my sanity.

After your basic “that was pretty good in spite of the few horrible parts” year I feel a bitter sweetness. I’m glad for the blessings, thankful for my family, friends, and health, but it makes me sad, too. Time has wings and my kids soon will too. I dread the empty nest and can only pray that God will give me the grace to live through it without embarrassing them or myself too badly. As the New Year turns, I reflect on the past and mostly only remember the good parts of when they were little. The tantrums, messes, poopies, snot, and other muck just seem to fade into the distance. I miss chubby toddler cheeks and little grubby hands wrapped around my neck so tight I thought I’d pass out. I miss them calling my name softly in the middle of the night in little voices, “Moooooooooommyyyy”…pause “Moooooooooommyyyy”…pause…“Moooooooooommyyyy”…until I woke up. Now, though, it is a memory that makes me smile. Being needed so much may have made me feel a bit nutty back then, as in, “Shhh, just let Mommy breathe a minute, Honey.” Now, I miss it, because they just don’t need me like that anymore. Not even close.

A new day is one of my favorite things, which is cool, because I’ve had so many so far. The freshness is so sweet, especially after the particularly horrendous days when I want to go to bed at 5pm so I can just get it over and get a new one! So I've added some questions for us all to help us reflect on this new day of the new year...

REFLECTION QUESTIONS ...
1.} What is the best thing that happened to you in 2011? I made a couple of deeper friendship connections with women who get my dorkiness and can see my heart. It is something I am especially grateful for. God knew how much I needed them. I also started selling my Bling Mugs and I'm hoping to get them on Etsy this year.

2.} What was an unexpected obstacle that you had faced during 2011?
Hubby’s back diagnosis…it’s bad and most likely will need surgery in the not so distant future. (Between the lines text: Men can be GIANT babies and are not very fun patients! Errrg!!!) I love him, though, and in sickness and health, for better or worse is what we vowed, so we look at each other and smile knowingly at how when we got married we really never heard the “for worse” part.

3.} In what specific area do you most want to encourage your spouse in the coming year?
Think about sex more…and follow that with some action. More sex=happier husband. [editor's note: AMEN!] Even with a bad back…you know it…he’s thinking, “Bring it on!"  I think many men have to be really, really sick, in a coma, or have a compound fracture to not think it. With kids, there is a lot of strategy involved, but it CAN be done…we just have to wanna!

4.} Think of one of your major life goals...
A major goal is to mother my children in a way that they will not need much therapy in the future.

5.} What will you do this year to make you one step closer to reaching that goal? To remember that what goes into today will have consequences for tomorrow…that helps me to keep my priorities straight. I will continue to view them as young adults and enjoy the heck out of the time I get with them. I knew I’d LOVE my kids, but I never realized I would LIKE them so much, too! (I also never dreamed they would one day entertain themselves for hours at a time!) Aaaah, it’s glorious.

6.} In what way do you want to draw closer to God?
In every way really…more trust for sure. More, more, more! Some days are tougher than others to trust that everything happens for a reason, even if it is only to make me stronger. I want to rely on His strength more and on myself far less than I tend to. God is not there simply for us to access in case of emergency. He wants to be my source for everything good every minute I live. I need to remember that and stop trying to Lone Ranger my life.

7.} Name one specific thing you could do with your spouse this year that will deepen your intimacy. Surprise him with quickies more often. Sorry, I know it sounds like TMI, but most of us moms are MUCH more HAGARD tired than we were as newlyweds and I really have to think of sex in an “on purpose” way now. I still love it, I just don’t think of it every day…or every other day. Heck, even twice a week is a GIFT to him. I’m going to dig deep into my brain and try to find that frisky girl mindset and choose to look for the sexy in him each day

8.} What is the most enjoyable area of managing your household?
Raising my kids and the incredible conversations we’ve had over the years. We have rough days (some kids more than others), but I never knew they could be so much fun-after all the work when they were little.

9.} What was your most challenging area of home management?
General organization…I’m a clutter monkey. I’ve improved a lot with some injections of the Fly Lady into my life, but some days I just hate her. Okay, not her, but what she stands for! Just RE-LAX already!!!

10.} Create a phrase or statement that describes who you were this past year.
I was hopeful, tired, and blessed! How about 2012? Here’s a quote from the book and movie, The Help, for all my Earth Monkey sisters. “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” [editor's note: I love this so much that every night we tell our boys.. "you are amazing, I'm proud of you, and I love you more than you know..."]

I encourage you to take a second away from the crazy of life and answer these questions for yourself! And Share your favorite question/answer here with us below in the comments or on our facebook page!

 If you know me at all, you know that I love getting rid of stuff even more than I like buying stuff (and that is a lot!).  My family is afraid to sit still for too long in fear of getting tossed into the "donation" box...I even get a little bit excited when the toilet paper runs out and I get to put the little inner roll into the recycle bin! (Oh my gosh, I think I just weirded myself out just a bit!) I'll never need drugs because I get a high when the weekly garbage gets taken away by the garbage man... I love empty drawers in my home (yes I really have some) I will actually go to them and look in sometimes just to feel the thrill of it!  creepy hu?  Now I'm not saying that I'm all weird about being crazy organized, (although my Pinterest followers might disagree!) I just crave simplicity and open space...The day after Christmas was super hard for me when I had to find a place to put the car full of gifts that we brought home Christmas day... That was the day I  told my husband that I wanted to sell everything and go live on a boat in the Caribbean!  Just my family a pair of toms shoes, (ok maybe two pairs)
Honestly I'm tired of stuff. No, like sick and tired of stuff!!!  I'm  totally over countlessly picking up stuff and  finding a place for stuff...seriously,  I'm even tired of buying stuff.

turn these chairs teal, and this is the "warm" minimalist environment I want to live in!

I am so inspired to rid my life of even more clutter, to stop buying...to just simplify!!!!
 And just a thought...I think it's a really freeing thing to get organized, to take messy areas and make them look pretty...the difference here is first ridding our lives of all of the unnecessary stuff we clutter up our space with...

1} Pick one area a day that you want to simplify. Or if your house looks like it should be featured on a hoarding show, maybe pick one a week. :)

2} Take each item out of the drawer, cabinet, closet, etc...and ask yourself these questions:
What is it?
If u don't know, huge clue that it should go
How often do I use it?
If you need this item for a specific use and u rarely use it, get rid of it and use something else in its place. I just got rid of a cheese cutting board and knife set...I mean really, who needs a special board for cheese??
How long have I had it?
We have ll heard this one before but if you have had it for even 6 months and you dont use it, get rid of it. And no, I dont care if aunt Sally gave it to you...she won't even know you got rid of it.
Does it bring me joy to look at it?
This applies to home decor...like that piece of art you bought on sale 10 years ago, if you don't truly love it, it's gone.  Empty space will feel better than looking at something you don't really like.

3} This is not an original thought but it's a good one...if you are worried about missing something, put it away for a month and if you don't miss it, you don't need it.  I can honestly say that I don't miss anything I have given away...except a super cute jacket that I see my niece sporting that used to be mine! ;)

4} As a hairdresser this is a big one for me. Do you have a cabinet of "beauty" supplies that you never use? .. Don't hold onto shampoo,styling products, lotions, bath salts...(you get the picture) that you do not use. If you don't love them, bless a friend by giving them to her.  Only keep what you use and love!

5} Stuff can't replace memories. If your life is filled with your grandmas stuff that you are keeping out of guilt, it's time to dig deep and part with it.  I know this from experience.  I now own two pieces of jewelry that I treasure of my grandmothers. If I had a garage full of her things none of it would be special.  I'm pretty sure that the deceased do not want our lives cluttered with their stuff.  You can always give it to other family members for them to love (I'm not trying to be insensitive to the memories connected to someone special through their things...just encouraging us all to take a long look at those "things")

6} Bring your family on board. Encourage your kids to find things they don't need and find a charity together and go donate it all with your kids along.  It's so much easier to part with things knowing they will go to someone who needs and appreciates them...and what a great lesson for our kids to learn early!

This list is just a very basic start...if you are encouraged to "minimize" your life at all, I would highly encourage you to check out miss minimalist for more great ideas and encouragement. She has a way of putting things that are so inspiring!   Ready to get started???