Seriously, people with kids do so many stupid things. Like really does it take any time to wipe that nasty food off of their dirty little face? And then, I get so grossed out when mothers try to clean it off with their own spit…Nasty! I would never do that! Oh my gosh, when I see a kid drop food then pick it up and eat it, I totally want to gag…My kid will never eat anything that could have dirt or germs on it like that! And I so can’t stand being in a car that kids ride in. Do they all have to be that dirty? Food on the floor, clothes, and diapers, all right already just clean it up and keep it clean! For real if I have to listen to one more bratty kid in the grocery store or restaurant crying or screaming, I’ll spank them myself. It’s not that hard to control their behavior! And one last thing, I will never, and I mean never wipe a snotty nose with anything but a Kleenex tissue! I saw a lady use her jacket sleeve…Disgusting!!!

That was a glimpse into my past…before motherhood. Those may not have been my exact words but they were definitely things that I just knew I would never do when I was a mother. Now let me tell you what I have become.

Sometimes I look at my children (mostly my toddler, my 7 year old can now clean herself) and I think really, how long has that been stuck to your face? Hunter went to bed tonight with sharpie on his and I frequently wonder what most of the gunk could possibly be! We do try to clean up before entering public life, but even in his car seat he somehow ends up a mess.

Which brings me to my next topic…Messy cars. So ya, I have become that mom that is mortified to even have the gas station guy look into my car. I even wonder if it smells to him when my window is rolled down. I’m telling you that I fill my arms with as much stuff as I can every time I get out and its still a mess! I took out a floor mat that was caked with dried milk a few months ago, I should go clean that thing. Think I’ll wait, its 2:45 am! And lets not even talk about car seats! I’m sure my kids will need therapy someday to deal with that issue. I have just given up on getting those clean!

My toddler can throw a fit the size of Texas if he drops his “bar” and I’m sure that by blowing on it after I pick it up, its clean enough to eat. I’m convinced, and that’s good enough for me! Dare I admit that I am now occasionally eating dropped food too???

And yes I have become the mother with the screaming kids. I try my best to be respectful, and I have removed us from a few places because of crying, but come on, if I went home every time one of my kids was screaming, I would never be anywhere outside my home! Sorry is the best I can do.

I saved to grossest (I’m sure that’s a word somewhere) thing for last…I do it…I use my shirt often to wipe snotty noses. I hope at least one person can relate and the rest of you should try it! Its convenient, eco friendly (think of all the tissue you save) it dries quickly and washes out easily. What? You don’t think those are good reasons??? I’ll just give you a tighter hug next time I see you.