Very few of us will  have the once in a lifetime opportunity to have a new house built from the ground up by a huge group of amazing people in a week and then to have it  filled with all the beautiful trimmings put together by a group of unbelievable designers...I'm pretty sure that most of us just think it's cool enough to know some awesome people that it happened to! ;)

     Lets face it, the closest I have ever gotten to having anything professional done in my house is the time I had a lady from a local home store come to my house to make suggestions on things that could be done to make my house fab.  For $100, she made a plan, listed out fabrics, furniture and accessories that would transform my world!  It was splendid, glorious even.  The one problem?
     I love neutrals.  I could live in a white, grey, and brown box (exciting hu?)  My last house had over 20 paint colors, and I'm pretty sure the chaos of that is what drove me to the sterile environment I live in.  Don't get me wrong, I love my home.  It makes me smile
(until I look out front and see the "For Sale" sign and am reminded that I  have to leave it soon)

People ask me all of the time what is my favorite thing about the house... and I answer: ALL OF IT. I can't choose there is just too much to love!! But I thought I would share with you some of my favorite things that you didn't get to see on the Extreme Makeover Home Edition episode:)

My kids are vacuums attached to black holes and they're barely out of diapers. They eat their weight in turkey sausage and chips and devour any sort of snack food within hours of it reaching our cupboards. Our grocery bill is bigger than our house payment... SERIOUSLY, I wish I was joking! If I buy food Friday, it seems like there is nothing to eat by Saturday night!

And, well, the grocery store just sucks (unless you get to go alone then it's like a spa day!!) I HATE dragging three kids to the store who hate shopping and crowds and loud noises and bright lights, and who usually end up talking too loud about someone in line in front of us with an ill place mole or missing teeth.

So, if you're like me and wait until the last possible second to go... here are 10 signs you've waited too long: (unfortunately most are from personal experience)

1. Your kids have eaten cereal for 5 meals in a row.
2. The only things left to snack on are the apple and tangerine fruit leathers that the kids have left in the jar so long they snap in two when you bend them.
3. Your toddler has slept for three nights with no diaper... and there's not a clean sheet left in the house.
4. The kids have been brushing their teeth for four days without tooth paste.
5. The only veggie you have is the wilted kale you bought 2 1/2 weeks ago when you vowed to start a green smoothie kick.
6. You send your child to school with a lunch consisting of stale pretzel pieces from the bottom of the jar, apple sauce (because there always seems to be apple sauce and pickles left for some reason) and one of those old fruit leathers... oh, and a bag of dried oatmeal just in case.
7. You've had to revert to paper towels because you are out of wipies, toilet paper AND Kleenex.
8. You have tell your family butter and noodles is actually a really special dinner for when they're extra good... if you're lucky they'll believe you.
9. Meat has been the one and only course you've served for three consecutive nights.
10. And the sin of all sins and number one reason you have to finally break down, pull up your big girl pants and go to the store with screaming kids???? YOU'RE OUT OF COFFEE FIXINS... holy cow... it gives me chills just to write that... and let me tell you that's exactly why mama's taking the plunge today finally!!

This was my morning text from Lindsay today:

     Picture this...a morning, consumed with whining, arguing and fighting about what to wear, what to eat, what to bring for show and tell, etc...The kids make it out the door and you rush to get yourself defunked just enough so that you don't scare the neighbors.  You leave in a total hurry in order to get to the spa where you work and move your stuff out for relocating...because of the time crunch, you leave your home completely destroyed and the only thing you do manage to do is put up an additional 4 fly traps to attempt to get rid of the 5000 fly's circling in the center of your living room....you hit the road, run some errands and pick up all of the supplies that you need for painting at your church...You are painting away (not in paint clothes because those were left in the closet at home) when you drop and spill an entire gallon of paint on your feet and the ground.  About 2 min after that, your real estate agent calls and tells you that the buyers want to come look at your house in an hour!!!!  You get home, hours after the nasty house showing, with just enough time to prepare for a sewing party for 10 women...
(this is based on my true story, no kids were harmed in the making of this day, 
but this mom lost her mind.)

My life is probably the exact opposite of that of a superstar. 98% of my days are spent cleaning up "accidents" (of both the bodily fluid and broken lamp variety), wiping bottoms, cooking and then cleaning up more accidents. In between the mayhem I try to work, but only with the brain power and engery that's left after my boys suck me dry. I love what I do... every most mornings I thank God that I can sit down and work in my jammies with my nappy bedhead. Sometimes I do envy friends who get in their cars showered and dressed, with hot coffee and drive away to a quiet office where they can think and go to the bathroom by themselves.... but I know that would bring it's own bag of troubles and worries and like my friend Katie says "The grass is always greener over the septic tank."

11 years, 3 kids, 2 special needs monkeys and one "Extreme" blessing later I have to admit at times my marriage is at best on the back burner... and I wonder if some of you can relate. It seems like sometimes in the thick of life everything comes before our relationship. In the midst of diapers and homework and  careers it seems like a lot of the time we are in survival mode.

Lindsay all decked out 80's style... me, sort of decked out 80's style!

    
      I am writing a post that will shock those of you that know me well!  You see, it's a little ditty about Halloween, and the shocking part?  I went shopping for costumes for my kids!  For those of you that did not "gasp" at the fact that I did that...let me just say, I don't like halloween, and I really hate dressing up, or dressing up my kids for that matter.  That being said, I'm not a total loser, my kids usually end up dressed up in something that some other mom loaned us (I think because "she" felt sorry for my kids!) and we trick-or-treat (I throw away the candy..shhhhh!)  and we hang with friends.  Last year, Lindsay even managed to drag me to a party where I  dressed up!  (insert another gasp here)  So anyway, back to my story...I took my kids to the Goodwill for some second hand costumes.  Call me cheap if you will, but I am not going to spend $30 plus on something they are going to wear for a few hours!  (I'll try to change this rule when it's time to buy prom dresses!)  Anyway.....we hardly made it into the store when we were met with a big display of costumes...well "duh" you are all saying...stick with me; these weren't princesses, animals and pirates; they were bloody, goolish, freaky masks sitting like heads on top of bodies in torn up creepy clothes with blood flowing down them!!!  In other words, in my kids eyes, these cut up, gory, bloody men were just waiting for us to walk in the door!  Great.  Thanks Goodwill.  With my son hanging on my neck, and my daughter practically welded onto my leg, we managed to weave our way into the store and to an isle with mostly kids costumes. I made it half way down that isle when they would see the "scary guys" again, dig their nails into me, and scream for me to turn around.  No matter how many times I calmly said "they are just statues, don't look at them", they just couldn't ignore them.   Great. Thanks Goodwill.  So I figure after this last week of my kids being totally traumatized, the Goodwill owes me, big time!  So I composed a little letter that I might just put in the mail to them...

Leslie is a stay at home mom of three young children. She is one of our original Earth Monkeys "partners"  and a new blogger with her Pioneer mom blog!!  When she has any spare moments (yeah, right), she enjoy naptimes and trying new crafts with her boisterous children.





1 package Sweet (Mild) Italian pork sausages (5 links) – or Sweet Italian Turkey sausages
1 med Sweet onion
1 Green Bell Pepper
1 Red Bell Pepper
4 Hoagie or sandwich rolls
2 Tsp Olive oil


1) In ankillet, simmer the sausages in ½ inch water on medium/low for approx 14 minutes, turning half-way through. Set aside to cool slightly.

2) Cut the onion into ½ inch bit-sized pieces and place in a slightly oiled skillet. Cook on medium until onion is slightly translucent. Remove from skillet and keep aside.

3) When the sausages have cooled enough to handle, cut each link into ½ inch rounds and place in the skillet the onions were just in. Cook sausages until they are slightly brown on all sides.

4) Remove seeds from bell peppers and cut into ¼ inch lengthwise strips. Place in skillet with browned sausage and mix together to coat peppers in sausage juice. Cover skillet.

5) Cook until peppers are slightly wilted. Add set aside onions and mix together.

6) Place on toasted hoagie roll (buttered is even                   better)! Enjoy!!

This is one of my favorite recipes! It only calls for a few items that I actually have to get at the store. It is also great in the wintertime, because there is no need to BBQ the sausage in the cold. If you don’t want to have the bread, this is also great as a side dish!

As stated above, this can be modified with Sweet Italian turkey sausage or maybe even meatless sausages. However, this does remove some of the flavor. Be prepared to add salt, pepper, and possibly a bit of minced garlic half-way through cooking the onion. It goes well with beer, too. I hope you enjoy this recipe and please comment if you have any yummy moderations to share!

Leslie

The Pioneer Mom...
Make sure to check out her Pioneer Mom Blog at thepioneermom.com and also her EM partner FB Page

Since the whole "Extreme" thing so many things have changed. We've met so many amazing people and can no longer go incognito... anywhere:) With this new found "microcelebrity" in my life I'm realizing I'm struggling with just being me. The beauty of this blog and getting to know so many of you is that at 32 I could finally say I was fine with who I am... dirty house, crazy kids, filterless mouth and all... I didn't have to pretend I have it all together... I didn't have to make people think I'm the perfect mom or house keeper or that I have the perfect marriage. BUT lately I've felt that extra pressure to be a different, more polished... less trashy version of me. HOWEVER,  it hasn't even been a month and all I have to say is  I'M SO OVER THIS!! I have to be me... because let me just say once you get a taste of being comfortable in your own skin it's excruciating to go back...

So without further ado ... here is a list of the things that will just NEVER change no matter how fancy of a house you put me in... judge me if you want but I can't hold it in any longer....

1) IF you drop by unannounced... and who are we kidding even if I know you're coming... my house will most likely NEVER EVER NEVER be super clean.... there will probably be clothes and toys and sucker sticks an the occasional dirty diaper wedged in the corner... not because I don't love and value my beautiful new home... but because I have three flippen crazy monkeys on crack who's sole mission in life is to seek and destroy.


2) I will still always have between 3-17 loads of laundry sitting out waiting to be folded... only now it's in a pretty mud room with a door that can be closed instead of on my couch mashed down because we've sat on it for a week instead of folding it and putting it away.


3) If you come over before 3 there is no guarantee that anyone will be out of their pj's or have teeth brushed... 


4) Dishes from last night's dinner (and probably a soccer ball and some hot wheels cars) will be in the sink until I can't fit anymore in and am forced to actually wash them... 


5) While I am working on this one it will most like take shock therapy time and self-discipline ... and you will probably hear few choice four letter words will roll out of my mouth ... because well, it just makes me feel better darn it!


6) Even if my kids do get dressed they will look like this 99.9% of the time. Teeth unbrushed, dressed in a swim suite when it's 50 degrees outside, no undies and a chocolate chip mustache at 9 am!


7) I will always be about 15 minutes late... because my children are flippen crazy monkeys on crack who's sole mission in life is to seek and destroy... oh wait did I already say that??

Whew... I feel better now... back to being regular old trashy flakey me... Have you completely taken the plunge and decided it's OK to just be you??? If not I hope you do it soon! There's no better feeling!

For more information on our "Extreme Journey" Check out this link!