Monday, November 8, 2010
Wile E and Sponge Bob...True heros!!!
Dear Mickey Mouse, first of all, I love Disneyland. It is a magical place of smiles and fun and some really great memories... but COME ON! A clubhouse that comes up out of the ground, totally set up, organized and clean? Then you further insult my intelligence by ALWAYS being in a good mood, no matter who royally messes up; you then take Tootles along on your adventures to fix the problem. How in the world does "he" always know what kind of "tools" you will need anyway? Please would you stop singing, counting and smiling. Sometimes life is just not that cheery!!
Mr. Cailou, Where is your hair for god sakes! You are 4 years old and totally bald??? It's probably your completely neurotic and crazy mother that does that to you. And speaking of your mother, please let her that if she keeps talking in such a sweet voice to you and your sister all of the time, I might drive over and punch her. (is she medicated or something??) I don't know any boy (or girl for that matter) that gets along with his sibling, uses manners and never talks back to his parents!!! GET REAL!
Sir Thomas, (or should I address this to Sir, Topin hat...is that his name??) you totally freak me and my children out. Please be honest here...Does some crazy man have a scary little railroad city set up in his backyard pretending to make you all real and then filming it? If so, please let him know that more things need to move than just your crazy eyes! He is NOT fooling anyone!
Also, you all could use some not so boring voices, and your narrator, omg...he puts me to sleep.! Could you please tell your crazy captor you want to do something a little creative or fun or get off the t.v!!!
Dear Barney, the Wiggles, Imagination movers and Dirt Girl....I don't even want to waste my time writing to you all individually! If I even think you are coming on, I will change the channel! You are poisoning my children with all of your "positivity and happiness!" Your cheerful songs, endless lessons and lack of any real fun...I just can't handle it.
Mr. Sponge Bob, I love you. You are a hard worker, a responsible home owner and a good friend to all. You make me laugh and cry and you challenge me to be a better person. I love how you occasionally loose your skin in an unfortunate hot grease accident, I cry when your eyes get popped out of your head from a run in with a jelly fish electrocution. I am sorry for the times that you fall off cliffs or drop from the sky (aka the water) and when you get pommeled by your dense friend Patrick, I feel for you! Thank you for bringing me back to the simpler times of my childhood where we didn't have to learn how to count from tv but got to just mindlessly enjoy it for the pure joy of it!